If your child is old enough, he or she may be able to actually name their feeling of jealousy: “I feel jealous of … because…”  In most cases however, children will “act out” (literally!) their jealousy towards other children (for example: younger siblings or cousins) without being able to verbalize how they feel.

Typical statements we can hear from a “jealous” child are:

• You don’t love me.
• You don’t care about me.
• You only love….
• Everyone cares about… but not me.
• I don’t care.
• Whatever! Nobody cares about what I want anyways.

Typical behaviors we can observe in a “jealous” child are:

• increased competitiveness with younger children in the family/at school
• attempts to impress/constantly seeking approval
• withdrawal (spends more time alone)
• increased aggressiveness
• lack of collaboration
• lack of focus

No matter the age, the feeling of jealousy is normal in children. They need generous amounts of attention- on a daily basis- in order to feel secure, connected and trusting that we have their best interest at heart.

If jealousy becomes a challenge in your family, you can:

• Spend 1:1 uninterrupted, undivided time with your child every day, so you can reinforce the connection; 10-15 minutes per day is a great start;
• Play games that make your child feel special and loved (for example: I love you more! game);
• Accept that the feeling is real and valid;
• Have empathy for your child (also, don’t lecture or shame the child for feeling jealous);
• Check in with yourself before reacting on auto-pilot;
• Pay attention to your own triggers around jealousy and ask for professional help if the triggers are too strong.

“Thank you very much Mihaela Plugarasu! I don’t know what we would have done without you. It was wonderful to have you there! You were our guest speaker and it was amazing. A forum without you, around this topic, would not have been possible… Thank you very very much, I’m sending all my love to you! ✨”

“After one and a half years practicing what I have been learning from the program, I can say I feel like a better person as a whole, a better mother, a better wife, a better woman and human being.I know I still have a lot to learn and heal but I feel so different in a good way. Thanks again and again Mihaela Plugarasu for having this vision and sharing your knowledge with us. 🙏🙏🙏” ( W.)

“Hi Mihaela Plugarasu! Last week I finally had a meeting with my son’s new teacher. She couldn’t understand why I insisted on meeting her until she read my son’s file. She told me that when she met him for the first time this year, he was a completely normal boy, connected in class, totally integrated with his classmates, a fast writer, playing with everyone during the breaks, and even showing emotion if he was not included in some game. That’s the exact opposite of what I would get from school for at least the past 4 years. She said if she hadn’t read the file, she would have never imagined my son used to have all those symptoms and even medication. I explained what a difference it made to now have evidence that this was the result of narcissistic abuse and not ADHD or learning disabilities. I cannot thank you enough for showing me how to support my son all this time in our journey from hell into normal life.” ( G.)

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