conscious parentingWhen Does Healing Happen?

27 January 2024

Have you ever wondered: When does healing start? How does healing happen?

In a recent session, these questions came up as the client deeply connected to the Child-part and tapped into her Adult-compassion for the child-part. It was a healing and beautiful process to guide her through.

In the last 12 months, I’ve learned a lot from Dr. Gabor Mate in his training program, Compassionate Inquiry. As a result, my whole perspective on healing and self-acceptance changed. Healing is not a destination, but an ever going process. It comes in phases, it’s similar to a spiral (not linear) and is at times very painful. It is also very worth it!

Healing happens when a person is able to hold two truths at the same in their conscious awareness:

  • the truth of the Child-part: the pain, the neglect, the humiliation, the abandonment, the betrayal, the injustice, the unmet needs AND
  • the truth of the Adult-part: the understanding of “what happened”, the understanding of systemic transgenerational trauma all the way back seven generations, the compassion that the adult can have for everyone involved in the story, including him or herself.

Because the pain was overwhelming, some parts of us never grew up. Those parts do not allow us to hold both truths at the same time, until we do the work in therapy. Instead, we blame, we shame, we feel victimized, we rage, we manipulate in order to cover the pain, unconsciously, of course.

Healing happens when pain and compassion are both held at the same time in the presence of an empathetic witness. Please make sure you get the support you need. Contact me today to work with me.

A recent testimonial from a client

Mihaela is that person you need in your life for personal growth, self-parenting and creating an authentic relationship with your kids. She had very on-point interventions. I became a more aware person and I look at myself with a kinder perspective. She can read people and deliver the information so that it is comfortable to digest. She is the shoulder to cry on and the brain to power your knowledge. I truly respect her wisdom and approach.