More than ever, young children pay a hefty price for the so-called “development” of our society:

• mothers have to return to work 12 weeks after giving birth because there is no paid maternal leave in the United States of America;
• approximately 40% of children in the US are raised by divorced parents;
• 19 million children in the US live in single-parent households;
• smartphones and social media are omnipresent, and the correlation between pervasive usage of smart devices and mental health decline is well documented in young children and teens, as well as adults;
• parents are struggling with mental health issues, financial pressure and lack of community support more stringently in the US than arguably anywhere else in the world (see General Surgeon’s latest report on parents);
• the typical American diet is highly processed and overloaded with sugar, hence the epidemic of obesity and diabetes in children;
• society at large is the most sedentary in the history of our evolution, hence the slew of chronic diseases and disorders;
• young children are mis-diagnosed and overly- medicated in the US as schools and parents focus on correcting adaptive behaviors instead of taking responsibility for the cause itself ( such as distress in the family, high conflict divorces, parents’ mental health, artificial academic pressure, etc).

I could go on and on with the list of the tragic consequences of modern development in the Westernized world… but I trust that you get the picture.

So, what do children really need in 2025 from us, the parents?

1. They need us to take responsibility for the health of the parent – child relationship. Children work hard at “staying attached” to their parents, but when the parent is unpredictable, unsafe, can’t properly hold space for emotional offloading, constantly hurried, overly busy, preoccupied, anxious, unsupported and alone…. well, what can the child do but to look elsewhere for guidance and attachment, usually their peers and online ?
2. They need ONE stable & healthy parent in their life. Two stable & healthy parents are ideal, of course, but not absolutely necessary. In other words, you BE the healthy parent, regardless of what the other parent is doing or not doing. Become that one safe parent.
3. They need us to model self- compassion and emotional intelligence.
4. They need us to model healthy personal boundaries in our own adult- to – adult relationships.
5. They need us to model healthy habits related to diet, exercise, and sleep.
6. They need A LOT of time for free play and unstructured, unsupervised (if age appropriate) activities.
7. They need less extracurricular/after school activities, and more FREE PLAY.
8. They need less academic pressure, and much more connection at home with Special Time, Staylistening and Playful Parenting.
9. They need to feel safe at home, no matter what.
10. They need a tension-free, predictable, friendly environment at home, where mistakes and meltdowns are allowed and welcomed, free of punishments, threats and shame.