Dr. Gabor Mate defines ADDICTION as:

“any behavior in which a person finds temporary relief or pleasure, and therefore craves, but that in the long term causes them or others negative consequences, and yet the person refuses or is unable to give it up.” (The Myth of Normal, 2023)

Today, I ask you: What are you addicted to?

Typical answers are:

• social media
• shopping
• substances (legal or illegal)
• sex/porn

However, addiction runs deeper and more SUBTLE than obvious alcoholism or drug abuse.

Here is a list of addictions that most people have (one or more), but they can’t recognize it:

• a toxic person (also known as “trauma bond”)
• work and performance (also known as “external validation”)
• chronic stress
• shame (usually disguised as perfectionism, winning, having the last say in a conversation/fight, obesity, etc)
• abuse (also “trauma bond”)
• self-loathing.

One thing I discovered over the years is that nobody is happy to hear “You’re addicted to abuse”; or “Your nervous system is constantly seeking cortisol and adrenaline (stress)  because this is how you grew up”. Almost nobody. Some people are relieved to finally see the root cause of their self-destructive behavior and some are happy to pretend that “It’s not so bad” or “I am on a healing path, what do you want from me?”

My point is this: staying in denial and pretending is deadly. Recognizing these patterns and holding ourselves accountable takes honesty, bravery and discipline. Changing these “codes” in our brains is not a walk in the park because it can’t be easy. However, it’s possible with the right help, tools and support system.

What are you addicted to?
How are you helping yourself?
Are you in denial, or are you doing the work?
 

Work with me 1:1 this summer. Book a call today.

Client Testimonial

“Mihaela listens to understand, having no trace of judgement whatsoever which allows me to feel safe. She also holds a strong capacity of synthesizing large amounts of information and doing a ‘’screenshot’’ for the issue at hand. Following this 1-st initial step of raising awareness and understanding, I am guided by her to do practical work, using pen and paper to articulate ideas, explore feelings, assess needs versus reality, and align my will accordingly. The sessions with Mihaela empower me, revealing that all the resources I require – love, care, will, and more – exist within myself. Being fully aware of this sets me free from the mindset to outsource these fundamental needs towards other people.” (Woman, 39 y.o.)