Hello, dear conscious mother 💟
This article is for you, and me, and for all moms who want to have it all, do it all, be it all: present and playful moms, entrepreneurs, career women, financially successful, independent, amazing wives/partners, philanthropists, fit and healthy, and, if possible, always smiling.
Let’s break it down and see how we can help ourselves.
Where does it come from?
- thousands of years of gender role-conditioning through religion, culture, and media;
- the “liberation” of women post industrial revolution gave women a chance to earn money but did not offer any support for child-care.
Why do moms put so much on themselves?
- we are trained not to ask for help;
- we are financially challenged and cannot pay for help;
- we feel shame when we want or need time away from children (the result of our conditioning);
- we raise children in single-family units, with no support from extended family members or the community;
- we have a genuine desire to be professionally successful – and that’s our right;
- we have a toxic tendency to compare ourselves to other moms, especially on social media.
What can moms do to feel less pressure?
- become more self-aware; reflect on this topic, look inward and accept whatever you see;
- train yourself to ask for help from trusted people, at least once in a while;
- create routines for time-alone and self-care that are equally important as child-care;
- listen to your body- it is your most trusted friend!
- ask yourself during the day: What do I feel? What do I feel in my body? What do I want? What do I need?
- delegate age appropriate tasks to your kids;
- find a system for time management and prioritization that works for you;
- learn to say NO to people;
- heal your shame through therapy, coaching or self-help tools;
- have a vision for your life; what do you want your legacy to be? – let this answer guide you through the small and big decisions of your every day.
Personally, I want to thank you for being a mom. You are doing the hardest job in the world, and you are excelling as it is.
Whatever goals you have, go for them, dream big and go all in! But when you feel tired, exhausted, irritable and impatient – that’s your sign that you must pause and re-orient yourself. This level of self-awareness and self-compassion will make all the difference in the world.