When I start working with a new client, the first thing I tell them is :
It will take at least one year to turn this ship around.
Of course, we start seeing positive changes much-much sooner, but for new patterns of secure attachment to settle in… it takes at least one year, depending on the age of the child; the younger the child, the easier it is; the older the child, the harder it gets.
Recently, one of my newer clients told me:
“I didn’t believe you. I didn’t think these tools were working, on the contrary. BUT NOW I DO. I can see there is a real change between us. What you’ve been teaching me is really working.“
Hearing this statement from this amazing mom is the reason I do this work.
Here’s why:
- Parenting is a long game. I mean LONG. At least 16 years of day-in and day-out of connection, attention, time spent together, repair, and love. Nothing will challenge an adult like her own child.
- Parents who embrace their own personal healing/growth journey are the parents who will enjoy parenting the most.
- Parents who commit to connection-based parenting are the ultimate Superheroes. However, they can’t collect their badges until much later. (#longgame)
- Parents are leaders. They are the captains of the ship. Like my client, we can’t quit when it gets hard. Children are fragile systems because their brain is literally under construction. Safety takes a lot of work to be ensured, today more than ever. It used to be easier when parents had a larger support system around them, but that’s inexistent in the USA today for most single -unit families.
- Parents who keep learning are the ultimate winners. Ignorance is not bliss, it’s hurtful. We are the product of our parents, and our children are the product of our parenting of them. Are we happy with the status-quo? If not, we MUST invest in our education and healing.
(Side note: I remember once, someone told me they can’t buy my program because they “committed” to replacing the couch in the living room… Don’t be that parent!)
I want to express my wholehearted gratitude to the moms and dads who show up every week in the sessions, watch my modules, apply the tools at home and do the work on themselves with compassion, courage and faith in their own healing.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are the real superheroes of humanity!