Hello, dear conscious parent 😍💟!
Love is in the air, isn’t it? Valentine’s Day is coming: roses, chocolate, champagne – these images flood our senses, screens and stores. Somehow, we feel we “must” be a part of this global celebration…and yet! – I dare to ask:
- Who are you in love with?
- Who do you need to “feel complete”?
- What if you are single right now? Aren’t you celebrating?
For clarity’s sake: If you have a partner, a loved one, by all means, please celebrate together this beautiful day! Spend time together, go out dancing, kiss and have a blast. There is nothing more exhilarating than sharing love with someone you love.
However, for the purpose of your personal growth and awakened consciousness, single or in a couple, my focus here is on your inner experiences on Valentine’s Day, and every day. Again: Who are you in love with? Who do you need to feel “complete”? What if you’re single right now?
This is not (yet) another pep talk on self-love. But rather, it’s about you being practical, intentional and committed to falling and staying in love with yourself and your special ones every day: your children, your partner, your family. Love needs a lot of help to stay alive. I once thought that love was enough to conquer all fears, judgements, limitations and challenges. I don’t believe that anymore. I now believe in the WORK that love needs in order to thrive.
Apply these 3 mental habits towards yourself first, then with your children and partner.
Mental Habit #1: Daily Gratitude
If you don’t keep a personal gratitude journal, start today. At the end of every day, write at least 5 things you’re grateful for towards yourself and another 5 things towards your loved ones. Make it a habit to tell your children (and your partner) that you are grateful for having them in your life.
Mental Habit #2: Self-Compassion and Compassion for Others
Kristin Neff, Ph.D., the leading researcher on the subject, defines self-compassion by 3 elements:
- Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgement
- Common Humanity vs. Isolation
- Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification
Be intentional about speaking to yourself (especially when you mess up!), as you would speak to a good friend. Habitually and unconsciously, we speak very harshly to ourselves, our children and our partner. Nobody, not even you, deserves harsh treatment! Make self- compassion and compassion for others a priority in your life. Apologize often and sincerely.
Mental Habit #3: Find Your Flow
It is entirely your responsibility to find your flow, and follow it, live it, enjoy it. No matter how busy you are, your whole being is craving to feel YOUR PASSION. What is your passion? What gives you joy? What do you do/ talk about forever and never get tired? Find “that thing” and immerse yourself in it at least 30 minutes a day. You need passion, meaning, exhilaration, excitement and fulfillment- which come from the inside. No mountain of roses and chocolate boxes from your “significant other” can fill this gap. BONUS FACT: research shows that we are most attractive to others when “we are in the flow”; when we shine; when we dare to be ourselves. Are you ready to dare?
Happy Valentine’s day!
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