I feel a bit overwhelmed after reading so many posts on social media on “lessons from 2022” and “intentions for 2023″… How about you?

For me, there is one lesson that I am still working on mastering moving forward: DETACHMENT.

I see a strong connection between the ability to detach and having a strong sense of Self, in the sense that a person can’t decide to detach from something or someone unless he/she is comfortable being alone with oneself, accepting oneself fully, loving oneself fully, while staying curious and “open-minded” to personal growth.

Detachment is a big word, also a huge spiritual task, because detachment doesn’t mean indifference, not caring or isolation from others.

Detachment also means that we are able to celebrate the process, not the outcome. We know that expectations lead to disappointment,  and yet, how can we NOT have expectations on a day-to-day basis, right? To help myself with this question, I go back to the 4 agreements for living a free life according to Don Miguel Ruiz, a spiritual teacher of Toltec wisdom (see book with the same title):

• Be Impeccable With Your Word. (the work of personal accountability and integrity)
• Don’t Take Anything Personally. (the work of dis-identification from others’ stories and external validation)
• Don’t Make Assumptions. (the work of asking courageous questions)
• Always Do Your Best. (the work of personal effort; inner peace)

As we step into 2023, let’s do the work of detachment together. Here are the steps I envision in this process:

1. Detachment from personal limiting beliefs. First, we need to bring them to the surface (the work of self-awareness).
2. Detachment from ideals that are unrealistic: body image, age-related beauty standards, cultural pressures to fit in.
3. Detachment from stories. We are not our story. We integrate our stories, and grow from them.
4. Detachment from people who are not aligned with us.
5. Detachment from mental rigidity. We go from rigid to open and flexible.

When we focus on our own personal development, inevitably the parent-child relationship gets better, and the whole family benefits.
Conscious parenting starts with you. Now it’s the time. Happy New Year 2023!