April 22 is Earth Day. People around the world celebrate Planet Earth for being our beautiful Home. Unfortunately, Homo Sapiens has proven to be a rather careless and destructive species… but that’s another conversation.
Today, I want to talk about YOUR HOME:
Where is your home? How often do you visit inside your home? How well do you know your own home?
In his most recent book, The Myth of Normal, Dr. Gabor Mate, writes:
“Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you (*as a result of the event).
Raw wound or scar, unresolved trauma is a constriction of the Self, both physical and psychological. It constrains our inborn capacities and generates an enduring distortion of our view of the world and of other people. Trauma, until we work it through, keeps us struck in the past, robbing us of the present moment’s riches, limiting who we can be.
In many cases, like in mine, it blights the person’s sense of worth, poisons relationships and undermines appreciation for life itself. Early in childhood it may even interfere with healthy brain development.” ( pages 20-21)
How do we know we carry unresolved trauma (also from Dr. Mate’s book):
- Trauma separates us from our bodies.
- Trauma splits us from gut feelings.
- Trauma limits response flexibility.
- Trauma fosters a Shame-based view of the Self.
- Trauma distorts our view of the world.
- Trauma alienates us from the Present.
The SELF is the HOME. When we are disconnected from our inner guidance, personal boundaries, intuition, gut feelings, and in-the-present-response-ability, we are not home. The home is empty. Love can’t live in an empty home, and this is why we yell, punish, and disconnect from our kids. It’s never intentional, but it happens enough times that the child believes it’s his/her fault- and the generational trauma cycle starts again.
How do you return Home to yourSelf?
- Therapy/ or carefully chosen coaching
- Body movement
- Breath work
- Support groups
- Self-Compassion work
- Compassionate Inquiry practice
BOOK YOUR CALL WITH ME TODAY.
From working with Mihaela, I get understanding, hope, and compassion for my kid. I understood that in order to be a better mother I need to heal, constantly and with commitment work on myself, have compassion for myself… I also get the tools to build a stronger relationship and thus create a positive attachment with my 13 year old daughter. Last but not least, I get the opportunity to constantly grow and go through situations in the weekly coaching calls that are a priceless resource. In these 2 years alone, I would have paid at least 9,000 $ for the 60 coaching sessions I had so far. Thank you Mihaela, from the bottom of my heart in the name of our family.