Valentine’s Day in the United States of America is big business: flowers, jewelry, expensive dinners, romantic trips – all are expected pieces of evidence that one partner loves the other. Culture has it so that most people fall into the trap of believing that LOVE needs to be showcased via commercial means. Also, the origin of this holiday is horrifying: women were hit by men “to become fertile” as part of an ancient Roman festival, according to NPR.
For me, Love resides inside oneself as a way of being and living life on a daily basis, when nobody’s looking.
The same kind of love is what our kids need from us. In order to compensate for daily busy-ness and lack of presence/patience/play, parents usually give children materialistic objects or overscheduled activities far more than necessary, even to the detriment of a child’s optimal development. This happens because it’s painful to live with guilt and shame. It becomes a vicious circle.
In your parent-child relationship, Love is being felt and becomes the basis of the relationship itself, when there is:
- SAFETY
- PLAY
- PATIENCE
- LISTENING (infinite amounts of time!)
- CONNECTION
- REPAIR
- INTENTION TO GROW PERSONALLY
- LEARNING
- HUMILITY on the parent’s part
- EXPRESSED GRATITUDE towards the child.