conscious parenting‘Bad’ Parenting Happens to ‘Good’ Parents. All.The.Time.

29 January 2022

Hello, dear conscious parentūüėć

I am using the words ‘bad’ and ‘good’ with the understanding that there is no ‘bad or good’ in life; these are very simplistic concepts that help us make quick (and biased) decisions, so the brain saves its energy for other important decisions. So, don’t take it ad litteram, please.
For the sake of this article, I define:

‘Bad Parenting’ as:

  • ¬†inability to listen without interrupting, judging, fixing, or correcting
  • ¬†inability to play
  • ¬†being impatient
  • ¬†yelling
  • ¬†ignoring your child’s bids for connection
  • ¬†ignoring or invalidating your child’s feelings
  • ¬†lack of humor and lightness about things and situations
  • ¬†lack of interest in personal development / therapy
  • ¬†using guilt and shame to control the child’s behaviors
  • ¬†diminishing the other parent’s authority
  • ¬†not taking care of yourself; feeling exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally
  • ¬†overreacting and not knowing why
  • ¬†pushing the child to achieve beyond child’s personal interest or developmental abilities
  • ¬†judging yourself or others

‘Good Parents’ as:

  • ¬†they love their children
  • ¬†they have all the right intentions about giving their children a good start in life
  • ¬†they would do anything to help their children
  • ¬†they have strong personal values, putting Family first
  • ¬†they understand (rationally) that children need safety and connection
  • ¬†they believe in strong limits
  • ¬†they want to teach their children important life values such as kindness, compassion, respect, and love
  • ¬†they value academics and learning
  • ¬†they read best-selling parenting books ( *but stop there).

If ‘bad parenting’ happens to you, you are not alone. The whole point of this article is that it happens to all of us, ‘good parents’.
However, we have the responsibility to get better every day, and this is why conscious parenting is life-changing. It is an approach to parenting that starts from within, with self-awareness tools, connection tools, co-parenting tools, and neuro-mindfulness tools.

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