As you may know, I have had the privilege of teaching in various higher-education institutions, in the USA, Europe and Latin America. I’ve met hundreds of brilliant university students, of all nationalities, from all continents.
Can you guess what they have in common? The same core limiting beliefs!
You would expect that individuals from different cultures have different beliefs about the Self. However, in my teaching experience across many cultures, most young adults (18-26 years old) struggle in their lives as a result of these common core beliefs they have about themselves:
- I am not smart enough.
- I am not enough.
- I am not good enough.
- I am ugly.
- I am the black sheep of my family.
- I am weak.
- I am lazy.
- I need to work hard for money.
- I am broken (emotionally).
- I am ashamed of myself.
- Nobody is there for me.
- Nobody has my back.
- I can’t trust anyone.
- I can’t finish what I start.
Luckily, this generation has access to a lot of mental health information and support, and many are taking the necessary steps to replace these beliefs. BUT my questions are these:
The answer is simple: trauma gets passed on from generation to generation, regardless of the culture.
Parents do the best they can with the knowledge they have.
Conscious parenting takes a lot of work. Breaking generational trauma is hard. It takes courage and stamina.
Whatever your child’s age is today, please know that the results of your parenting become visible when your child reaches adulthood. Raising a healthy and confident child is a long- term game. Forceful discipline, punishments, threats and lack of connection will not (CANNOT) grow into a resilient, confident, kind and creative young person.
What we do as parents when our kids are small MATTERS. It may be hard for you to envision it today, but if you look around you, you can see it. Look at your family members, friends, co- workers, boss and your life partner. Everyone is struggling with the aftermath of their upbringing (family unit + culture).
I hope this article puts things in perspective just a tiny bit. Ask yourself what’s missing in your parenting, so you can give your children the start they deserve in life: POSITIVE SELF – REGARD. A GROWTH MINDSET. A KIND HEART.