Hello, dear conscious parent
In many states and countries, children are back to school for their second half of the academic year. Some students are back to class, some are still online and virtual. Each of these groups face different challenges: from having to wear a mask all day in class and staying 6-feet apart from their friends, to looking at a screen for 7-8 hours a day and staying mentally engaged with the material. Either way, school in the Covid-19 era is hard. Therefore, your child may:
- refuse to do homework
- refuse to help with simple chores in the house
- talk back at you
- show increased aggression towards you directly or another child in the family
- regress to infantile/ toddler-like behaviors like wanting to sleep with you, sucking their thumb, etc
- not sleep or eat well
- withdraw and refuse to communicate with you
- want to play video games more than ever before
- spend time on social media/ YouTube more than ever before
I am reminding you that wanting to correct the behavior is like pouring gas on fire. Remember our mantra: ‘connection before correction”! All these behaviors are NORMAL in times of crisis. They are coping mechanisms. Your children, now more than ever, need your help, to make them feel Soothed, Seen and Safe, so they can feel Secure. {These are the 4 S’s for optimal development from The Power of Showing Up, book by Daniel Siegel, Ph.D. & Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.}
Here are 7 simple ways you can help your child with being back in school after the winter break:
- Take care of yourself first. Establish a daily ritual that can ground you. This can be something small like having your coffee in the morning alone while everyone is sleeping; or something more mindful, like walking outside, writing a gratitude list every day, saying a mantra or a prayer, meditating. Any small ritual is better than no ritual.
- Spend 1:1 time with each child every day, or every other day. Use a timer; 5 minutes is better than nothing; ideal time is 15-20 minutes. Do what the child wants you to do. Leave your ego at the door.
- Allow your child time and space for free play. This means he/ she is in charge of their play. Do not interfere; do not interrupt; do not correct; do not help unless you’re asked. Free play is the single most important driver for creativity, curiosity and wanting to learn.
- Lower your academic standards. This is not the time to pressure your child to be class president or get all A’s. Embrace B’s and C’s as part of life. It’ a good way to build resilience and self- esteem independently from an imposed system anyways.
- Laugh more, play more. Be silly. Make a joke. Don’t take yourself or school so seriously. Connection is followed by learning.
- Vent to someone you trust at least one a week, for 30 minutes. We as parents accumulate anger, frustration, guilt and shame all day long. Where do these feelings go if we don’t let them go? In our body. We become reactional. Find a partner who is able to listen to your “venting” WITHOUT INTERRUPTIONS, and take turns.
- Tell your child ‘I Love You’ many times a day, for no particular reason. They need constant reassurance.
Let me know how these tools and ideas worked for you and your family on my Facebook page or Instagram.
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Reminder: I have few spots left in my Conscious Parent Accelerator Program starting January 18. If you struggle in you parenting or co-parenting, contact me today, by booking a call with me: