Through my coaching and mentoring work, I am privileged to meet women from very diverse cultural, social and economic backgrounds. I get to work with women of different ages; who live in different countries/continents; and who, on the surface, have nothing in common.

But they do. We all do, all women. We have one thing in common and that is: a lack of awareness of the bigger picture. To understand what I mean, keep reading. It will click at the end.

Here are the 10 things I wish every woman knew:

IT DIDN’T START WITH YOU. The abuse, the trauma, the injustice, the violation… whatever you’ve endured in your family of origin, and then continued in your marriage/relationships… It’s rooted in many generations of women before you (your mom, your grandmothers, your aunts, their sisters) who had to adapt to abuse, the best they could, and then passed it on to you, unconsciously.
IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. You did your best with the knowledge and the tools you had at any given time, especially when you “made the wrong choices”. Your unconscious adaptations from early childhood made the decisions for you.
IT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. As a mature adult, it is your responsibility to do the work of self-inquiry, healing, grieving, building a support system around you, getting stronger. You can’t remain stuck in victimhood any longer. The more you stay in a victim state, the more powerless you become. Now, you have a choice.
IT STARTS WITH THE BODY. Healing starts in the body, not in the mind. Disconnection and disassociation from the body is a first sign of unaddressed trauma. Your body has all the answers you’re looking for. Befriend it, trust it, love it.
IT TAKES A VILLAGE. You need a solid circle of women, and a reliable support system around you, made up of safe, stable and predictable individuals (men and women).  You were never meant to go through life alone and in isolation. The Wonder Woman myth is just that, a myth.
IT TAKES COURAGE. The work of recovering from trauma is exhausting, painful, never ending and very complex; like a labyrinth, ad infinitum. There are layers upon layers of identities and belief systems that you need to face and decide what to do with them. If this work were easy, the world would be a big happy family; but it’s not, and that’s why the majority of people never change.
YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYONE. No matter how hard you try, and how many tricks you use, the other person will defend and protect  their  freedom of self- expression as much as you do. You have no power and no right over another human’s sovereign destiny. The sooner you let go of this fantasy, the sooner you will free yourself from the chains of your imaginary power.
YOUR CHILDREN BECOME WHAT YOU EMBODY/MODEL, not what you “preach”. Words, lectures, teaching moments, rules and declarations have little to no impact on your child’s development. If you want your child to grow into an adult with a strong sense of Self, then you must model that every day, relentlessly. If you want your child to eat healthy-exercise-learn-experiment-try new things-embrace failure-live in gratitude-believe in themselves, etc, then you must model and embody these qualities first.
IT’S NEVER TOO LATE. Your brain’s innate power is its neuroplasticity. It’s never too late to finish school, to start a business, to change your career, to travel, to volunteer, to sing, to dance, to lift weights or start therapy.  Whatever you’ve always wanted to do, start it now. It’s never too late.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. The woman next to you at the supermarket is going through the same pain. Your co-worker, your neighbour, your child’s teacher… they all suffer. You may feel alone, but you’re not alone. Ask for help, and offer to help. All women share your story, and you share theirs.

Now it all makes sense, doesn’t it?

Call me. Work with me. Go from victim to victory in my coaching program. Read clients’ testimonials (click here)