Hello again, my dear conscious parent…
You may have heard before this old poem that says:
“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.”
(On Children, by Kahlil Gibran, 1883-1931)
True story: a few evenings ago, my son had more homework to do. It was pretty late in the evening, and I, a teacher at heart, was determined to “help him” finish his homework. I could see he was tired after an already long day in school, but I had my own agenda, as we, parents, often do. Our fears creep in so elegantly and subtle, that even if we don’t yell or otherwise lose our temper, we are still impatient and pushy. So my son, who is my teacher, left his desk, laid down on the floor, looked me straight into my eyes, and firmly said:
“Mom, I am exhausted. All I want is to feel loved right now.”
In reverence to his wisdom, self-awareness and courage, I laid down next to him and hugged him. I thanked him for reminding me of what really matters. Despite me writing a whole book on this topic, I still forget sometimes. We all forget. That’s OK.
The lesson from this story is that our children KNOW what they need at any given moment in time. If we parent them from a place of consciousness and connection on a regular basis, they will have no fear to make their authentic voices heard when it matters most. They will feel safe enough to stand up for their emotional needs at the expense of their mom’s fixation with homework [fill in the blanks, your own fixation(s) 🤔].
Conclusion: Parenting Made Conscious Works.